The gardens coming along swimmingly. Everything that we have planted has come up and is thriving. Well, with the exception of the peas, which, believe it or not, the birds actually dig up and eat. Truly. I have planted them twice, only to come out each time and find little dug-up empty holes where the peas used to lay. You think they’d be happy with the abundance of worms in the rich soil…but apparently not. I was perplexed by this initially, and then I just chuckled at their audacity. “No way,” I would say each time with a bit of a giggle of unbelief. Irregardless, I have conceded to the idea that I either have to replant yet again and cover them with netting, or go buy some starts. At this point, I’m thinking of taking the easy route and going for the starts.
Worms or not, the birds seem to insist on variety. And I think they get a good chuckle out of teasing me and throwing me for a loop. Gone are the days of being satisfied with the wiggly creatures of protein. Now, we have birds that are insisting on getting their daily dose of vegtables too. Who knew…
Were going to the Grand Canyon. I think I mentioned this in an earlier post somewhere along the line. It will be an amazing experience and I can’t wait to share it with my kiddo. But in all honesty, I keep forgetting were even going. As in, I feel like there is so much going on around me on a day to day basis, that’s its difficult to think about the looming trip so soon upon us. I would like to think I had all the time in the world to plan, prepare, and psych ourselves up for it, but in all honesty, it just hasn’t happened that way. And even in reflecting back, it rarely has been this way. It’s just not the way life seems to go in my small little corner. And even though that would present reason to get all disappointed and such, I choose not to let those thoughts creep into my head. Instead, I embrace the fact that this is just where we are in life, and I’m grateful to be able to experience things at all. So! With that being said, we will bid the grubs, worms, pets, and garden adieu for a spell, and enjoy the exciting journey.
It was the kind of weekend with not much in it. Quiet days where sleep was an easily obtainable commodity and I got to walk for longer than the usual 30 minutes I normally try to cram in during the week. I watched more movies than I care to admit, and hung out with my mom on the couch in the middle of the afternoon. I stayed in my sweat pants for most of the daylight hours, and went into town for breakfast and to walk among the now-leaved maple trees. It was the perfect weekend for me right now. I tended to the worms and all the pets at my own leisure, and let the dishes pile up in the sink until there were no forks left.
You have to understand me as a person, to appreciate that this is a very rare thing for me to concede to doing. There’s something innate in me that tells me that if I’m not doing something…if I’m not being productive in some way, then my day is wasted. I realize that this mode of thinking needs a bit of reworking. I mean the worms wont fade away, and the pets wont perish. And hey, hands were invented before forks…right?
We got coffee on the way home. We drove and reflected over our wonderful weekend together. Theres just something about taking the time to do things that you may not feel like doing or feel like you have the time for…but know that you really need to. It’s a lot like recycling or composting even. Tedious sometimes arduous tasks, but there is just something inside that let’s you know that it’s important. Sometimes even just throwing scraps out to the grub composting feels like a chore to me. But truly, the rewards of diligence and the hard work of recognizing what is important are far greater than giving into what you may feel like in the moment. I loved my weekend with my daughter. I love all my weekends with her. And being her mom, no matter the time, energy, or strength it may cost…is the greatest gift imaginable.
It was kind of sad to have to pack up the site because we were having just the best time, but we had things to do the next day, and so we decided it was for the best. We made a few smores over the last of the coals from the fire, broke down the tent, and bid site B9 farewell. We stopped at the store to grab a couple of apples and bananas, and a jug of water, then took our gloves and softball down to another beach further north, and played catch while we had our fruit. The Oregonians had flocked to the sun that day, and the beach looked like something that should have been on a calendar from California or Florida. It was packed like when grub composting grubs are all busily working away on the latest scrap they’ve been given.
We stayed much longer than we had anticipated, as the day just beckoned we stay. My daughter dug in the sand, and we played in the water. We watched dogs jump for Frisbee’s and families laugh with one another. A far cry in comparing the whole scene to grub composting, but truly its what it reminded me of. I know…a bit weird…
We slept pretty well too, which is always a 50/50 when it comes to camping. The campground was quiet, the temperature moderate, and the bags comfy. I got up rather early, and went out to start the fire. I made myself a cup of coffee, and just sat and enjoyed the early coast air and campfire. My kiddo got up about an hour later, and I got her a cup of chai all warmed up. While she had that by the fire I started breakfast which consisted of duck eggs and potatoes, and stir fried broccoli thrown in. We talked, and ate, and laughed. It was the perfect morning. We grumbled a bit over the fact that we forgot the fishing poles, even though we remembered the worms…oh brother. But we walked a short stroll down to the lake anyways.
After the lake (and freeing the worms) we walked down to the beach which was warm and absolutely still, as in no wind whatsoever. Anyone from the Pacific Northwest knows that that’s a rare day . We spent the next several hours perusing over the rocks and looking at all the various sea life. It was truly a blessed morning. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt richer…
So the beach was amazing. My kiddo had gotten all the animals fed and worm bins checked over while I was finishing up my last few hours of work, and then we headed out in the muggy valley weather toward the relief of the ocean air. We got to the first park we were going to try for a site, and they still had several left to pick from…phew. We payed our camping fee and began to unload the car. We built a fire, set up the tent, and made coos coos and vegis in the jet boil. By the time the car was all unpacked and everything had it’s place, we dished up the coos coos and sat down at the fire to enjoy the much cooler coastal air.
Sometimes we opt out of things simply because we, as adults, realize all that’s entailed. The work and energy it takes is often more than we can even begin to think about. But as I sat at the fire that night with my most favorite person in the world, I realized that no amount of drained energy or strength could have kept me from the making of that memory.
I’m taking my daughter camping this weekend. Were packing up and heading to the beach. Who knows why we feel to do things at the times that we do, but I just knew it was time for the beach. Funny thing, I used to do so many things, like it feels as though when we are in our 20s or whatever, the skies the limit. Weekends and evenings are filled with random often obnoxious things like packing up and heading out wherever, whenever. However, we get older, life changes, responsibilities ensue, and unexpected things come along the way. And so now, I find that my desire to do all sorts of things has not waned necessarily, I simply can’t do them as I used to. I do hope that changes some day…I wonder if it will. Priorities. That’s what it boils down to. Whether its the worms bins, the garden, work, or the kiddo that deserves everything I could possibly give her…time simply isn’t my own anymore.
And that’s okay really. I mean with these things also comes the deep satisfaction of doing what needs to be done…the important things. Often on my weariest nights, I smiles the biggest. Yeah…a life well lived. Worm bins and all.
My potatos finally came up. I planted reds and Yukon golds, and they have been the last thing to pop up. But today I noticed their firm little stems coming up out of the earth, and I carefully weeded around them. There are all sorts of thoughts out there on gardening, but here are mine where this is concerned: I never weed or fertilize until I see bright shiny little green leaves. And today was the potatoes day. The worms were plentiful in the earth, and the dirt was nice and damp from the mornings watering…it put a smile on my face at the end of a long day.
I suppose the simplicity of healthy worms in the damp earth and the first signs of a long awaited sprouting do something to this rural heart. I love being in my garden, and I love all that it brings.
Today I take my kiddo to a meeting and orientation with the principle of a new school. She has been home schooled for the last three years, and has now decided she would like to go back to school. And so, a new chapter. Not a real easy one either. It’s funny being a parent, how you rejoice for your children over the exact same things in their lives that also cause you tears and concern. Her growing and wanting to be a part of something…to grow her little social circle…this is a sweet and darling thing to me, and I am excited for her. Yet at the same time there’s that element of letting go and “handing her over”. Yes, these are the growing pains of a parent. I stared down at the grub composting as their little bodies mulled over whatever it is that was thrown in there last, and tears flowed. This new page is both wonderful and incredibly difficult, and the resulting emotions alone are enough to make me want to sleep for 12 hours straight.
Grub composting doesn’t evoke tears, but for some reason, it provided me, in that moment, the chance to let down. Outside the house, away from any peering eyes, I cried. And it was okay…